Transformation

There is something that we all experience in our lives. No one is exempt.

For some it is sooner rather than later, for others it comes as a shock. Some experience it in great waves and others seem more surprised that is it is happening to them. Regardless of your gender, color or ethnicity, we all experience it. It is a part of life.

My mother would say it means to say what you mean and mean what you say, but if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.

She had it right… but not complete.

I have also found that living an authentic life is also about being true to ourselves in how we share ourselves in the world. And, I’m not just talking about sharing our opinions. If we never share our talents, reveal our creations—that painting, that poem, that song, that idea—are we being authentic?

  Darkness falls early now. With each passing day I find myself surprised anew at how quickly the sunlight fades this time of year. I never seem to get used to it, even after decades of repeated exposure to the changing seasons! I long for light even as my body instinctively welcomes the darkness, wanting nothing more than to slow down and rest. It seems, at first glance, to be an uncomfortable opposition of forces, this longing for light and darkness at the same time.

       So much of spiritual attunement is being available. Attunement implies a sensitive attention and readiness. A spiritually attuned life is not one that is planned in advance. It is not one that knows the answers or even the questions. Attunement is a process, a way of being. If the “doing” aspect becomes too important, the attunement is lost. Whether it is doing good works or doing evil deeds or just doing the list of chores the job demands, it is the attitude and the attunement that count.

Working in a men’s prison, I reflect on the experience of being incarcerated.  The men can’t walk too far in one direction, can’t stand in groups on the yard, can’t watch cable television or research the internet or choose their meals. What they can’t do outnumbers what they can do by about 1000 to 1.

So many of them say they are angry about being in prison but they admit they were angry before they entered prison. They say it frustrates them that they can’t work for pay but admit they didn’t show up for work when they lived “on the streets.” They say that when they are released they will be happy but confess they never have been happy.

The Art of Positive Thinking

            There was a time in my life when the notion that our beliefs, thoughts and language create our reality seemed utterly preposterous, and I dismissed it out of hand. I was, after all, a rational thinker (or so I thought!), a scientifically-minded person who believed in a fixed reality “out there” that I could navigate and possibly manipulate to meet my goals through the sheer force of willpower, planned action and hard work.

It sounds simple doesn’t it? Just do it! Nike’s famed line, a battle cry for transformation. Yet if you have ever been stuck in neutral, saying, “just do it” is about effective as going to the casino to win enough money to make your monthly mortgage payment. There is truth and power in the phrase but not a solution. All to often we buy a book, get an inspiring email, or watch a movie about a secret and think; “now my life will change”. The truth of the matter is nothing ever will change until you change it. Today we will learn not only why we fail to change it but also how to effectively change. I must warn you. To do so takes courage, honesty, and faith. Are you ready?

So much of personal growth is constructed around themes such as perseverance, determination, and self-belief.  As important as these themes are there is also another important side, the side of letting go and moving on. Perhaps it is a career path, a relationship, a dream, or a goal you hold in esteem. It is a fine line between giving up and moving on. That line becomes even harder to see when we are emotionally tied to the situation. Learning to recognize when it is time to let go could be one of the most important and valuable lessons you learn.

So I’m right in the middle of living an awake and inspired life when suddenly – or maybe not so suddenly, maybe it was ever-so-gradually and I was just too busy to notice - I’m not feeling awake or inspired. I’m feeling… dull and uninspired, to be very frank. And tired, and whiny, and cranky. And just a teensy bit hopeless. Despairing, even. Quite a long way from awake and inspired, now that I think about it. I was having a bona fide dark night of the soul, except it had dragged on for more than a few nights. I was too exhausted to do much more than sit back and watch the show.

            My client sat before me, tense and expectant, having robotically reported the results of the journaling assignment I’d given her at the end of our previous coaching session. “So what next?” she demanded of me. “What else can I do?”

            Ah, the seduction of doing…the lure of constant productivity. We have come to believe that our power to achieve results lies in nonstop action and a relentless drive to make forward progress. We plan and plot and push, exhorting ourselves to make things happen. We take action, any action, just to convince ourselves we’re getting somewhere. We don’t recognize that we’re robbing ourselves of power’s true power by defining it only as the “action” part of the creative cycle and leaving “stillness” to fend for itself - flaccid, limp and powerless.