Self Growth

Maybe Keeping Your Options Open Isn’t Your Best Option

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Motivation.

Motivation

Years ago, when I first realized I didn’t actually want the corporate career I had so diligently and doggedly pursued, I did what many people do at the dawning of such a realization: I tried to figure out alternatives.
As part of that mental analysis, I outlined several options available to me based on my education and experience. One of those options was to open my own accounting or tax business, since I was a CPA. And so, just as diligently as I had pursued extra responsibilities at work so I could earn promotions and move up the career ladder, I continued taking Continuing Professional Education classes to earn the credits I would need to maintain my CPA certificate.

Becoming Aware of Your Resistance: Key to Surfing & Surviving the Chaos

Written by Lynn Andrews. Posted in Alternative & New Age.

Healthy Living ,New Age

Did you know that you are fearless, generous beyond thought, gracious, creative, able to shape shift your destiny? 

You are! So what is keeping you from celebrating yourself, from living the bountiful life you deserve and can create?

In looking at the events of the past several years, I found a thread, a luminous thread that led me through the maze of challenges we face today. How did the events of our time form into the chaos of the world today, as well as the turmoil in our own personal lives?

What is Your Relationship Contract?

Written by Dianna Palimere, PhD, LCSW . Posted in Love & Relationships.

Living Well with Health Relationships

On any given day, we engage in a number of activities which require us to agree to the “Terms and Conditions.” We enter into contracts with apps, cell phone providers, utility companies, banks, credit card companies, landlords, doctors, pharmacies... We have warranties and insurance policies on the goods we buy; which stipulate the terms and conditions for the care or replacement of said items. Just about everything in an American life has some kind of contract or agreement.
Like most things, our relationships have contracts—

The One Thing That Changes Everything

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Self Growth.

Anita Moorijani New Book What If  This Is Heaven?We’ve been taught all the wrong things.

This is the overwhelming realization Anita Moorjani had while in the other realm during her near death experience (NDE) in 2006, after a four-year struggle with cancer. In that expanded state, in a realm of unconditional love, she could see clearly that we’re not supposed to suffer with cancer or other illness. She realized that the medical community’s perspective of disease as an enemy to be conquered is completely misguided.
She could also see that we’re not meant to struggle with our finances, work or relationships. We are meant to live joy-filled lives. We are meant to experience heaven on earth. She understood that it is when we are unaware of our true worth and magnificence that we experience pain or struggle.

Rate Your Mental State

Written by Karen Carlson. Posted in Personal Growth.

Rate Your Mental State
“Depending on our mood, we experience the identical circumstances—who we are married to, where we work, the car we drive, our potential, our childhood—entirely differently.”
—Richard Carlson From: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff  (MJF Books, NY 10001, 1997).
Mood swings are a fact of life for everyone. Given the increasing scientific evidence that mind and body are interactive I have found the daily practice of rating my mental state helpful and healthful for life management. This is another mindful exercise in self awareness, a fundamental quality that elevates Homo sapiens from the rest of the animal kingdom. This practice pays huge dividends for my quality of life, so I will share my process for you to use. But first let me elaborate on some benefits of engaging a mood rating system.

The Digital World of Sex & Relationships

Written by Dianna Palimere, PhD, LCSW . Posted in Advice.

 The Digital World of Sex & Relationships
The technological advancements that have been produced over the past two decades have led to a fundamental shift in our interpersonal communications with one another at work, in our social lives, and in our homes.


Face-to-face communication has widely been replaced with what is now called Computer-mediated communication (CMC). In its most basic definition, this is “any human communication that occurs through the use of two or more electronic devices” (McQuail, 2005). With so many electronic devices now at our fingertips, the ways we interact with each other, and the ways we now form relationships are vastly different than even just a few years ago; and it continues to grow and change at a fairly rapid pace.

Firmness, Fire and Focus

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Self Growth.

Firmness, Fire ,Focus,self growthIn order to relax into the flow of our lives, we first have to get in the flow.
The great promise in following our dreams is that in doing so, we come into alignment with who we really are. We literally get in the flow of our own lives and start experiencing, more and more, the inspired thoughts, unexpected opportunities, supportive people and delightful synchronicities that affirm for us the “rightness” of our path.

Ask the Sex Therapist! More Dating Don’ts

Written by Dr. Dianna Palimere. Posted in Love & Relationships.

Dating Do's and Don'tsAs the resident sex therapist for Living Well Magazine (in my head, not in reality), I feel compelled to help readers as best I can, whenever they reach out to me.
After receiving several questions from LWM readers in response to my article “Missteps on the Path to Finding Love” (LWM September 2015) Primarily, readers wrote to me asking for more dating advice about ‘what not to do.’ Email after email, readers shared their experiences and asked my advice. A pattern emerged: I was being asked very similar questions, despite the differences of the individual’s specific experiences and demographics (age, sex, etc.).
Below are two of the more common questions, followed by my list of general “dating don’ts.”

Gratitude

Written by Karen Carlson. Posted in Self Growth.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” −Melody Beattie

The single most important, most widely applicable tool for fulfilled living is gratitude. It celebrates and savors our good times. It softens and helps heal the bad times. Gratitude is a habit no one is too young or too old to cultivate. Gratitude fits into any cultural, economic, religious, political or social ideology. It has no harmful side affects. It’s free. It’s instantly accessible. Gratitude is contagious. The more I use it, the more it grows. The more it grows, the better I feel. Gratitude is a no-tech app that recognizes

What If Someone You Love Drinks Too Much?

Written by Veronica Monet. Posted in Love & Relationships.

Veronica MonetI have only been in love – truly, deeply in love – twice in my life. So I can be extremely tenacious when the inevitable challenges to relationship arise. I don't give up easily. I don't walk away at the first sign of trouble.
When I was much younger, I hoped that the intensity of my love would fix things

Living at the Center

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Self Growth.

Life is a balanceIt’s something you can feel, deep in your heart and in your bones:  the longing to say Yes to yourself – yes to your dreams, yes to your desires for creativity and self-expression, yes to your own aliveness and sense of purpose. And yet your life may be filled with countless things and tasks and commitments and obligations that muffle the inner Yes almost to the point of smothering it. 

Surviving Holiday Blues

Written by Joe White. Posted in Transformation.

Winter BluesThere is something that we all experience in our lives. No one is exempt.

For some it is sooner rather than later, for others it comes as a shock. Some experience it in great waves and others seem more surprised that is it is happening to them. Regardless of your gender, color or ethnicity, we all experience it. It is a part of life.

Feel Stuck in life?

Written by Joe White. Posted in Love & Relationships.

 

She said, “Joe, I mastered the art of not getting what I want in my life.”
She went on to share examples of a failed marriage, an uninspiring career, and an uncertain future. She told me how she was on the verge of giving up hope; that the waves kept knocking her down. She felt she was running out of options and running thin on hope.
I remember the look in her weathered eyes when she asked me, “Is there any hope for me?”
Life can be tough. We all know that; and it is easy to get caught up in trying to make a living, paying the bills, raising kids, eating right, and so on. The next thing we know, that birthday with a “0” or a “5” is coming up, reminding us just exactly how far we have NOT come.
I smiled and said, “What you need isn’t hope. What you need is YOU. And that is something you have always had within you. You must access that part of you... the part of you that recognizes the truth: You are more than you’ve allowed yourself to become. Just because you have not stepped up in the past doesn’t mean that you can’t make a new choice right now. Your past does not equal your future. The question is: Will you let go of the familiar and comfortable for what you truly desire?
There are two worlds in which we can live. The world of comfort and the world of growth. Comfort is addictive and seductive, but there is no fulfillment in comfort. We are wired to grow. Yes it is uncertain, but it is part of who we are at our core. When we step out into the unknown, we grow and become more. As we become more, we then have more to share with ourselves and others. Through growth and contribution is where we feel fulfillment. It is not always easy, but it is the path we must all take.
She looked at me me with a nervous smile and said, “It has been so long since I really let go and embraced changed. I know I can do it, but my fear is: what if I fail?” I chuckled and said, “Don’t worry, you WILL fail, and you will learn how to get back up stronger, with more resolve than before.” Her face lit up and for once I saw her first real smile as she said, “I think I would really like that. I’ve lived in comfort and fear long enough. I am tired of waiting, tired of trying, it is time to break free!”
We all have the resources within us to create the life we want. Sometimes all we need is the courage to let go of comfort and embrace who we are and what we can achieve, accomplish, and become. In the case of my client, with a little coaching and guidance, she now lives in growth; unafraid and ready to achieve her dreams.

Remember Your Magnificence Part 3 of 3

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Inspiration.

This is the third of three articles featuring highlights of my recent interview with Anita Moorjani, best-selling author of Dying To Be Me: My Journey from Cancer to Near Death to True Healing. Anita was healed of stage 4 terminal cancer through a consciousness-expanding near death experience that opened her to the realization of who she is, and who we all are: magnificent beings whose very essence is love. Not only did that profound realization heal the cancer, it awakened her to a deep knowing of the joy-filled purpose of our lives, which is to express our unique magnificence. In this article I’ll share more of her insights – and an amazing story that isn’t in the book! Enjoy…

Soon after my inspiring interview with Anita Moorjani, whose clarion call to us is to remember our magnificence, I realized we had covered so much ground that I had the material for at least three articles, though I had planned to write only one. Talk about an abundant universe! Reviewing my notes, I made little symbols beside the main points to indicate topics I felt went well together and could form the basis of an article. I drew stars next to the notes I’d taken when she talked about self-love – there was the first article! – and hearts next to the comments related to manifesting our desires – there was the second article! 

There Is Always a Out:The Secret Of Turning Your Life Around

Written by Joe White. Posted in Motivation.

 

So one day a man was stuck in a hole and could not get out. A priest walked by and the man yelled up, “Hey Father, could you help me get out?” The priest nodded, said a few prayers and left. Later a doctor walked by and the man yelled up, “Hey Doc, could you help me get out?” The doctor nodded, wrote a prescription and threw it to the man and left. Later a friend of the man walked by and the man yelled up, “Hey buddy, could you help me get out?” The friend nodded and jumped down into the hole. The man in the hole was upset and said, “Why did you do something so foolish? Now we are both stuck in the hole.”

Why Would Anyone Walk Barefoot Over 1,200-Degree Coals?

Written by Joe White. Posted in Motivation.

Why Would Anyone Walk Barefoot Over 1,200-Degree Coals

(The Firewalk Transformation Seminar is a 6-hour seminar that culminates in participants walking barefoot over hot coals.) The answer to the question is easy: you walk for whatever reason compels you. For some, it is to overcome fears and limiting beliefs. For others, it is the metaphor of what is standing in the way of the life that they want. Some see it as pushing the boundaries of what is possible, and others see it as a spiritual journey. Regardless of why someone walks, the Firewalk Transformation is UNFORGETTABLE. 

Appreciate Your Self A Winning Way to Play New Year’s Resolution

Written by Karen Verna Carlson, N.D., Ph.D.. Posted in Inspiration.

This little light

 “This little light of mine,

I’m gonna let it shine!”
 
An inventory is what I call my year-end assessment.  That’s the basis for setting my new year’s intentions.  Some years ago, I switched from the word ‘resolution’ for two reasons.  First, because our collective consciousness has so much “failure”  baggage around this custom of formulating goals for the coming calendar year.  Second, my free associations all reveal a personal negative bias - revolution, revolting, roulette….  

The Shaman- "He or She Who Knows"

Written by Kat Yerger. Posted in Alternative & New Age.

 Shamanism, where does it come from? What does it mean, and is it effective? All questions roused by the appearance this ancient form of healing is making in western culture. Archaeological evidence estimates shamanism to be about 30,000 years old or more. 

It All Counts

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Transformation.


            My client sat before me, shoulders slumped and eyes downcast. She sighed heavily with an air of somber resignation. Just moments before she had been brimming with enthusiasm, her posture erect and her voice alive with possibility. Together we had brainstormed different ways she could explore an idea she had about work – not a practical idea about ways she could improve her current job, but a sparkly idea for an entirely new form of work. Work that might fulfill her sense of purpose and nourish her soul. Work that could nudge her lovingly out of bed in the morning. Work that would allow her to develop her innate talents and creativity. Work that that might even be fun.

Inner Light

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Transformation.

  Darkness falls early now. With each passing day I find myself surprised anew at how quickly the sunlight fades this time of year. I never seem to get used to it, even after decades of repeated exposure to the changing seasons! I long for light even as my body instinctively welcomes the darkness, wanting nothing more than to slow down and rest. It seems, at first glance, to be an uncomfortable opposition of forces, this longing for light and darkness at the same time.

Responsibility and Response-ability

Written by Ruth Cherry, PhD,. Posted in Transformation.

       So much of spiritual attunement is being available. Attunement implies a sensitive attention and readiness. A spiritually attuned life is not one that is planned in advance. It is not one that knows the answers or even the questions. Attunement is a process, a way of being. If the “doing” aspect becomes too important, the attunement is lost. Whether it is doing good works or doing evil deeds or just doing the list of chores the job demands, it is the attitude and the attunement that count.

Transcending Limitations

Written by Ruth Cherry, PhD,. Posted in Transformation.

Working in a men’s prison, I reflect on the experience of being incarcerated.  The men can’t walk too far in one direction, can’t stand in groups on the yard, can’t watch cable television or research the internet or choose their meals. What they can’t do outnumbers what they can do by about 1000 to 1.

So many of them say they are angry about being in prison but they admit they were angry before they entered prison. They say it frustrates them that they can’t work for pay but admit they didn’t show up for work when they lived “on the streets.” They say that when they are released they will be happy but confess they never have been happy.

2009: Birthing Awakening from Chaos

Written by Sri Ram Kaa and Kira Raa. Posted in Alternative & New Age.

      With the first quarter of 2009 nearly at completion, we find ourselves faced with the recognition that our lives are changing.  Each of us has experienced some degree of personal chaos perhaps in the form of career or relationship issues.  Or does of sense of peace get unsettled by the media reminders that our financial structures are changing, our Earth’s eco-systems are injured and our global safety is seeking stability.

      As humanity sails into the power-enriched storm of shift are we ready to brace the mighty wind of awakening that is calling to every soul on the planet?  This single question brings forward the familiar call from our heart that compels us to keep moving forward regardless of the many outward expressions that seek to keep us stuck.  That is, do we allow fear to provoke us into reactive decisions or do we use the winds of change to lift us to new perspectives?

The Art of Positive Thinking

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Transformation.

The Art of Positive Thinking

            There was a time in my life when the notion that our beliefs, thoughts and language create our reality seemed utterly preposterous, and I dismissed it out of hand. I was, after all, a rational thinker (or so I thought!), a scientifically-minded person who believed in a fixed reality “out there” that I could navigate and possibly manipulate to meet my goals through the sheer force of willpower, planned action and hard work.

Healing Comes in Many Forms!

Written by Reverend Anna Marie Trotman. Posted in Enlightenment.

My first experience hearing about shamanism was in a class I was taking on alternative healing in 1972 at the University of California in San Diego. Our distinguished guest was Dr. Andrew Weil. Dr. Weil had just returned from the Amazon jungle where he traveled to Huautla de Jimenez , gathering information about medicinal plants and healing.  That trip turned out to be more than a plant gathering experience for the young  Dr. from Harvard.  I was mesmerized as he talked about his experiences with the shamans of the region. 

A Message For Teens: 5 Insights For Your Journey In Life.

Written by Joe White. Posted in Motivation.

I remember as a teen hearing this quote, "youth is wasted on the young". It sounded good at the time but to be honest, I didn't fully appreciate its message back then. It is easy to live for the moment without understanding the power of what we have in our hands. Whether or not we realize it when we are young, youth has the advantage of opportunity without the awareness of experience.  When we are young, there are endless possibilities and while we may see the possibilities we don’t always know how to realize them.   Quite the oxymoron. Having the ability "to" without the understanding of "how". The punch line or final irony is that by the time we figure it all out we are so ingrained in our ways that it becomes very difficult to change. Ergo the purpose of this article. To help you, the youth, to understand the "how" when you can still say as the Rolling Stones sung, “time is on my side".

Writing a Novel During My Morning Run

Written by Kathryn Pincus. Posted in Self Growth.

Long Hills RunAlmost every morning, as the sun is beginning its ascent into the sky, I lace up my running shoes, stretch, and bound out the door. A feeling of contentment sets in immediately—not the fabled “runner’s high” or anything as dramatic as that—just a sense of calm and happiness, a transcendence over my daily milieu. As I enter this physical state, my mental state begins to wake up and roam freely. The caffeine I consumed an hour earlier may be the catalyst, but the real reason for my mind’s exploration is the fact that it is blissfully unoccupied. There are no televisions blaring in my ears, no Facebook pages flashing before my eyes, and no teenagers asking me where their football jersey could be. My thoughts can wander to varying and random subjects. Often, I get stuck on a particular subject and begin to analyze, dissect, and elaborate on it, and I being to compose a piece of “writing” in my head, as if I were attempting to persuade some illusive audience.

Defining Your True Self

Written by Joe White. Posted in Inspiration.

Forget about new year resolutions, only 1 in 10 will succeed. They fail because we simply just don’t care enough by about getting them. Cold hard truth. If you want change, true change that is lasting we must change who we are. We try too hard to change the what we do without changing what or who is doing it. Change occurs from the inside out, not outside in. We try to change from the outside in because it seems easier and logical. We think if we do this or don’t do that we will become what we desire, yet very often we fall back to being comfortable and what is familiar. We do what are.

A New Half Decade:Back from: The Biggest Loser Fitness Ridge

Written by Sean Strauss. Posted in Inspiration.

"I left 60pounds in California"

"I left for the Biggest Loser Resort with an initial weight of 326 pounds and I am happy to say that I left part of myself in California, actually 60 pounds of myself."

Before I start to tell you guys how my life has changed, I think that I need to do a “previously on” for those of you who are new to the life of Sean.
Previously on the “Life of Sean”
About six years ago I was crossing the street in New York City when suddenly I was hit by a BMW SUV going 40 miles per hour. Fast forward 3 years and it is discovered that I have four herniated discs in my back, they fixed one of them, and left the other ones to fend for themselves. About a year later I go to the doctor with what I thought was a cold, but instead I’m diagnosed with heart failure.

Your Most Important Job Part 2 of 3

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Inspiration.

anita-moorjani

This is the second of three articles featuring highlights of my recent interview with Anita Moorjani, best-selling author of Dying To Be Me: My Journey from Cancer to Near Death to True Healing. Anita was healed of stage 4 terminal cancer through a consciousness-expanding near death experience that opened her to the realization of who she is, and who we all are: magnificent beings whose very essence is love. Not only did that profound realization heal the cancer, it awakened her to a deep knowing of the joy-filled purpose of our lives, which is to express our unique magnificence. In this article I’ll share Anita’s perspective on manifesting our desires.

The Authentic Life

Written by Gretchen Kennedy, RScP. Posted in Transformation.

What does it mean to live authentically?

My mother would say it means to say what you mean and mean what you say, but if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.

She had it right… but not complete.

I have also found that living an authentic life is also about being true to ourselves in how we share ourselves in the world. And, I’m not just talking about sharing our opinions. If we never share our talents, reveal our creations—that painting, that poem, that song, that idea—are we being authentic?

The Most Amazing Letter Ever

Written by Karen Jessee. Posted in Love & Relationships.

Maddie was my childhood chum, best friends forever.  From children to adults,  we shared our funniest moments, our darkest secrets, the angst of aging mothers, and stories about men.  Enter Jack.

Maddie and Jack met at the Philadelphia Airport waiting in a food line.  They started a conversation, shared a table, and exchanged numbers.   Maddie was returning to Canada; Jack was returning to Georgia.  No problem. They wrote, rang up huge phone bills, e-mailed, and arranged flights, all in the name of love at first sight.

A proverbial question?

Written by Joe White. Posted in Inspiration.

"What is the Meaning of Life?"


I remember a day in high school. when my teacher asked the proverbial question.

The teacher was  hoping  to stimulate thought and debate. After 45 minutes of  discussions and disagreements we were no closer to the truth. 

Managing Your Persistent Fears and Anxieties

Written by Stanley Popovich. Posted in Motivation.

Everybody deals with anxiety and depression, however some people have a hard time in managing it. As a result, here is a brief list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their most persistent fears and every day anxieties.

When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, the first thing you can do is to divide the task into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

Love, Not Judge

Written by Jackie Lapin. Posted in Inspiration.

  For most of us, judging ourselves and others is so ingrained in our constitution that we are not even aware that we do it. It’s just a way of life.

 

          We gossip about other people. We assign value to individuals before we even speak to them, determining if they are worthy of our time. We make assumptions about people by virtue of their skin color or the work that they do. We complain about our coworkers, colleagues, relatives, lovers and even friends! We are critical of the way people do things, what they think, how they talk, who they hang out with and what decisions they make in their lives.

The Couples Journey -- Part 2

Written by Bruce E. Palmer, MA LPCMH. Posted in Love & Relationships.

The curious and interesting stages of growth experienced in the evolution of a loving committed relationship

  (Illusionment, Disillusionment, Loving Reality)  is well documented in the plethora of ‘happy ever after’ fairy tales and romantic comedies. Certainly a wonderful experience, and one which helps create the glue and the initial bonding that encourage a couple stay together as they navigate the more difficult and stormy aspects of relationship. The second stage, ‘Honeymoon is Over’ involves the recognition that my beloved does not quite live up to the fantasy projection that he/she should meet my 

A Spirituality of Your Own

Written by Ruth Cherry, PhD,. Posted in Spirituality.

            Isn’t it time that we move beyond religion and rules and belief into honest spirituality which is based on personal experience?  Religion offers community which feels comforting and guidelines for behavior which build character.  But true spirituality requires an adult’s presence to her own experience.  Thinking about what an authority tells us is at best a jumping off point for us to assume our own authority.

Peace

Written by Ruth Cherry, PhD,. Posted in Spirituality.

     When I walked into church on Sunday, the small congregation was singing, “Peace will fill the world when we finally understand that only from within can it spread throughout the land.” Peace isn’t an external matter that can be legislated and enforced.  Peace is a way of being­-–in harmony with ourselves, with others, and with the physical planet.

We are Not Truly Alone

Written by Jamie Eachus. Posted in Angels.

Angels

 “An angel named Indriel came to earth bringing light and beauty, wearing a heart around her neck.”

 Unconditional love.  Consistent and abundant support.  Undying loyalty.  Unwavering patience.  These are all things that we as humans seek out on some level whether consciously or subconsciously.  These are things that “feed” us and keep us strong and moving in a forward progression with our lives.  When one of these is missing, we find that we become “lost,” feel very alone, depressed, and even stagnant- each to varying degrees.  The good news is these are not a reality; we as human beings were meant to believe. The bad news is that we get so caught up with the everyday challenges we face that we forget that we are truly very abundant in all of the areas above. 

Growing Old Without Losing Your Mind

Written by Dr. Deborah Gleason . Posted in Inspiration.

Once upon a time people worried about dying from a heart attack. That was replaced by the “Big C”  when cancer became the fear du jour. Since then, medicine and nutrition science have done much to help us prevent, fight and live through these afflictions. But we now have a new scare taking center stage that as of yet has no known cure: Alzheimer's Disease. If you ask people how they would least like to leave this world, the A-word is today's front runner. It is the most dreaded of all forms of dementia.

A Vision Quest for Optimum Health!

Written by Dr.Scott Rosenthal. Posted in Visioning.

A Vision Quest for Optimum Health!

What is the SECRET to OBTAINING YOUR DESIRES, you ask?  If you are asking any self-help or "road to success" writer, motivational speaker or empowerment guru, the answer will always include one vital process.  Read ancient philosophical texts or religious writings, and the wisdom of getting what you desire would include that same ingredient:  Build a clear VISION of the desired outcome or object.  The use of visioning has, and has long been, a powerful tool for attracting information and the objects or state of mind and body you desire.

Closing Gaps A Story Of Transformation

Written by Joe White . Posted in Motivation.

"Being comfortable stinks" she said, but "changing is hard." I smiled, nodded, and said, "Yes it can be but who we become as we traverse the gap is what really matters ". She gave me that funny "I think I know what you mean but I am not sure I understand" look. So I began to explain to her and slowly she began to understand. To understand that life is all about closing gaps. It sounds so simple. I must admit it does, but it is in the application where all the opportunity lies.   

How to Be Your Own Valentine ( the secret to true success)

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Love & Relationships.

How to Be Your Own Valentine (and by the way, this is the secret to true success)

 

It’s that time of year again – February, with its own special holiday to celebrate love. And whether or not you have a certain someone in your life who is your Valentine, let me suggest something a little different. This year, vow to be your own Valentine. Decide that no one is more deserving of your respect, kindness and enthusiastic support than you, and get creative about cultivating and expressing those qualities toward yourself.
In other words…love yourself. Completely, courageously and unconditionally.

Christmas in an Empty Space

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Motivation.

          I turned the music up. Maybe the extra volume would supply me with the Christmas spirit I seemed to be lacking and jumpstart my enthusiasm for putting up decorations. Pausing in a roomful of opened boxes and tattered bags stuffed to the brim with memories, I waited for the music to work its magic. Nothing. I sat down and closed my eyes, giving myself full permission to halt the decorating process and, instead, simply invite my favorite Christmas music to infuse me with its exuberant energy.

A NEW HALF DECADE: THE JOURNEY BEGINS PART 1

Written by Sean Strauss. Posted in Inspiration.

Before  going to the Biggest Loser

 Life has a not so funny way of throwing a wrench in your plans. The ability to adapt and overcome is a required skill. I am here to tell you that I got hit by one of life’s biggest wrenches. My cardiologist described my life in the most blunt and concise way, “You have had a shitty half a decade”. Since April 2006 my life has been in a free fall, but in that time I have discovered that I can survive anything.

All We Are Is Love Part 1 of 3

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Love & Relationships.

Anita Moorjani

“Find your joy! Listen to your emotions and do what makes you happy.”

— Anita Moorjani
Author “Dying to be Me: My journey from Cancer to Near Death to True Healing

In the March issue of Living.Well Magazine I wrote briefly about an amazing book I’d recently read titled, “Dying To Be Me: My Journey from Cancer to Near Death to True Healing” by Anita Moorjani. In the book Anita shares her story of having miraculously healed from stage 4 terminal cancer through a consciousness-expanding near-death experience that awakened her to the truth of who she really is – and who we all are.

How Emotional Intelligence Can Make You Better in 2012

Written by Dr. Bradberry . Posted in Inspiration.

For many of us, the new year will begin with a promise—a promise that this year we will accomplish that which has eluded us. Often it’s the everyday things that prove most difficult—managing your schedule, treating people the way you ought to, and keeping things in perspective when chaos is at hand. The sad truth is that nearly 80% of us will fall off the resolution bandwagon by Super Bowl Sunday; and by this time next year, a mere 5% of us will have succeeded in reaching our goals.

There are two reasons why we’re so bad at reaching our resolutions. The first is that we bite off more than we can chew. It may seem reasonable to pick up three or four new skills to add to your repertoire, but that’s an expectation the mind can’t execute. When we try to develop too many new skills at once, they become competing priorities that leave us distracted, discouraged, and overwhelmed. The second reason most self-improvement efforts are doomed to fail is that our emotions have a nasty habit of hijacking our behavior. Without a strong ability to recognize and manage our emotions as they occur, old habits are sure to die hard.

Relationships 102:Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the Most Effective Listener of All?

Written by Rusty Stewart. Posted in Love & Relationships.

Listening is the most important component in communication. “Seek first to understand before being understood.” After 15 years of experience as an educator, psychotherapist, and everyday human being, I can share with you that this is easier said than done. Listening is an art and requires us to get out of our own way and our need to be right. That being said, there are tools we can learn that significantly increase our listening presence. Last month I laid out the seven feedback suggestions for creating an unwavering foundation for authentic communication. This month I am going to go into more detail about how to mirror and listen more effectively.

A different kind of Resolution

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Inspiration.

 The Barbara Brennan School of Healing, Class of 1999, spoke these words - out loud and to each other - during our final, sacred ceremony. It was the evening before graduation, and we came together in joy and remembrance and deep gratitude for the journey we had completed and the one we were just beginning. These lovely words penetrated and awakened my very soul that day, and whenever I read or recall them I feel their incredible sweetness. To me they speak of longing.

Cleaning Up Our (Inner) Environment

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Inspiration.

    In April we celebrated Earth Day, an occasion that generates renewed focus on the great need to be mindful and loving stewards of this planet that sustains all life. Much of the focus translates into myriad initiatives to clean up our polluted environment, and those initiatives are noble, worthy and essential. There are countless programs and activities that need our attention and support, and we are called to step up and provide them.

Couples Journey -- Part 3

Written by Bruce Palmer M.A., L.P.C.M.H.,. Posted in Love & Relationships.


 The initial stage is falling in love and idealized romance in which we project onto our beloved our own images of hoped for perfection; in order to feel whole and complete with our significant other. As this begins to wear thin and we recognize the other as human, neither the Goddess nor Prince Charming, we will often attempt to ‘seduce’ the other into living the fantasy. When they (and I) continue to fall short, remaining a flawed human, the anger stage of relationship will often arise

Being in Love

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Love & Relationships.

    One of the truly great blessings of adulthood is that Valentine’s Day is no longer a thinly veiled popularity contest, a day when everyone drops cheap cards and candy hearts for their intended into a big box, and then waits with bated breath to see how many of those hopeful offerings have their name on them. I can remember glancing furtively around me every Valentine’s Day during my elementary school years as the cards were handed out, hoping upon hope that I didn’t have the smallest pile.

A Couples Journey -- Part 1

Written by Bruce Palmer M.A., L.P.C.M.H.,. Posted in Love & Relationships.

 A Couples Journey

We are all aware that the “Happy Ever After” endings to romantic comedies and fairy talestend to be filtered through rose colored glasses and are less than realistic approaches to long term loving, commitment and intimate relationship.

Neither, of course, are the tragedies of ‘Romeo and Juliet’ or ‘Tristan and Iseult’ what we hope for! The question remains; How do we navigate the ups and downs of the couple’s journey over the years?  What are our expectations? Are they realistic, or skewed by either fairy tale or mud splattered lens?

Hate and Fear

Written by Ruth Cherry, PhD,. Posted in Personal Growth.

       We hate what we fear.  It’s more comfortable to feel hate than fear because somehow it seems less vulnerable and being vulnerable is to be avoided at all costs, we’ve learned.

             We don’t always say we hate, though. We’d rather say, “That’s illogical” (and, thus, not to be considered seriously) or “That’s immature” (and, so, unworthy of attention) or “That’s what they asked for” (and I can’t do anything about their poor choices). We separate ourselves from “them,” having already separated ourselves from what we fear inside ourselves–vulnerability, pain, sorrow, hopelessness.

Lost and Found

Written by Suzanne Eder. Posted in Personal Growth.

Lost and Found

“This is the first time I’ve decided to leave a job without having something else lined up,” my friend Tonya* confessed to our small women’s support group. We applauded her daring, self-affirming choice and offered words of encouragement to bolster her confidence in stepping into the unknown. She knew she was doing the right thing, but wasn’t at all comfortable with the prospect of not knowing what was next.

     As I reflected on it later it occurred to me that, in our culture, we have trained ourselves to tolerate the wrong kind of discomfort. We have become like martyrs, enduring the endless drudgery of tedious jobs or the relentless demands of 70-hour-per-week careers. We convince ourselves that our choices are somehow noble – or we convince ourselves that we have no other choice – and busy ourselves with developing “coping mechanisms” to mitigate the negative effects of the psychic pain that, by now, has become chronic. We don’t acknowledge that this kind of pain is our soul’s way of letting us know we’re off course, because we don’t know what other course to take.

      And that, paradoxically, is the point. In order to get back on course, we must be willing to not know how - to be lost, at least for a little while. And we’re not terribly good at feeling lost. We’d rather rush to figure things out so that fear doesn’t have a chance to step into the gap between the world we know today and the world we will come to know.  But the world we’re longing for is created in the gap; if we think and act only from our known world, we’ll keep getting more of the same. We need to remind ourselves that beyond our daily routines and habits of thought lies an endless source of ideas and inspiration to lead us step by step into our brilliant future, if we will but take that first tender step into the unknown. That is the kind of pain – the squirmy discomfort of not knowing – that we must learn to sit with. And as we do, it begins to soften little by little. The willingness to not know invites a new knowing, the kind that can transform our lives.

      I’ve come to understand that the pain we associate with not knowing is caused by the belief that we’re supposed to know; we’ve been taught how to plan our lives from here to retirement, so doing something as radical as leaving a job without having a tidy five-year forecast to make sense of it all seems to offer proof of our stupidity. But what if we could drop the belief that we should know what we’re going to be doing for the next five years? We might find that setting it aside ushers in a sense of freedom and possibility we’ve not experienced before. Will we have to deal with fear? Yes, we will. Is that something worth learning to do? Absolutely.

      Tonya knows this, in her heart of hearts. She knows that the pain of staying in a job that suffocates her is far worse than the heart-fluttering bouts of panic that chastise her for making the choice to leave. She knows she can negotiate a new relationship with panic, but her soul’s desires are not negotiable. They are just waiting for her to peel away the filter of the known so she can see them with new eyes.

      And so it can be for each of us. As we give ourselves a little distance from our known world – as we step into the gap of the unknown and let the initial waves of discomfort wash over us – we gain a new perspective. And from this place our soul’s desires can be seen for what they are: the beacon that is forever lighting our way back to our true selves. It turns out that being in the unknown doesn’t mean we are lost - it means we are willing to be found.     

* Not her real name    

 

 

Saying it with Flowers

Written by Lisa Sherwood. Posted in Love & Relationships.

I've yet to find a 12-step program to help me break my latest addiction -- reading (and enjoying!) historical fiction books AKA romance novels. Ah, escapism from my very hectic world!
 
It fascinates me how repressed people were back then, such as the Victorian era. (Although, a century from now I wonder how our social customs will be viewed!)
 
Repressed in that "don't hold my hand unless you are planning to marry me," "kiss me and we?ll be engaged by the end of the day," ...and let's just say "risque" behavior beyond that could have a young lady marked with a scarlet letter for the rest of her lifetime. (Oh wait, that's another book in itself!)

Your Defining Moment.

Written by Joe White . Posted in Inspiration.

We all have one, at least one, but usually there are a few.” A moment that stands out from the rest”. It becomes the starting point of what is to come or the levee that keeps us from reaching the other side. It is a moment in which everything changes or in which time stands still. Our lives our marked with moments that define who we are and where we are going. Although this sounds very grandiose, it is never the less true - our destiny is forged in these defining moments. 

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