Since 1999, I have worked with all types of individuals. From the business owner looking for the edge, to the couple trying to save their marriage, to the person who feels overwhelmed with her emotions and life. Although my clients come to me for many different reasons, there are common themes in each of their and each of our challenges
There is always a gap. A gap between where we want to be and where we are. To often that gap seems more like a gorge. It is too deep and too wide to traverse. So we stand on the edge, wishing, hoping, and wanting to be on the other side, but we just don’t know how to get there. In my nine years of coaching, I have seen and heard it all, every story, every tragedy, and every disadvantage. I have also seen and heard amazing displays of courage, honesty, faith, and determination. I often get asked, “How do I change?” Well the answer is as easy as it is complex. I have learned that there are only so many patterns that explain why we do what we do. This knowledge is what gives me the ability to help so many people in so many areas. While the understanding of it is simple, the application takes effort and dedication.
So here I am offering you the readers, the curious, and the determined, some simple prerequisites of change. Yes they are simple and most basic truths are. Yet, they must be lived daily to have a lasting effect. Too often we read a book, watch something on TV, listen to a speaker and we become very excited about what we have learned. We may even take some steps to incorporate the learning into our lives. As time progresses and life’s demands occur, those things we swore we would not forget slip from our conscience and fade away. Our actions become less and less. We must maintain our commitment to change, to the new behaviors, and beliefs, in order to create the life we always wanted.
So here are the Six Prerequisites Of Change.
1) You Must Take Full Responsibility For Everything That Has, Is, and Will happen In Your Life.
You cannot be a victim of life and create the life you want. You must take full responsibility. It begins and ends here. Regardless of what has happened to you, you are in control of what you do, think, and feel at this moment. Since this is the only moment you really have, doesn’t it make sense to make this the best moment it can be.
2) The Level of Thinking That Has Created Your Problem Is NOT The Level of Thinking Needed To Create The Solution.
This is a paraphrased Albert Einstein quote. Too often we spend far too much time and energy focusing on the problem. All that does is offer us more of the same. You won’t find your solutions in the neighborhood of your problems. We must ask better questions to create a better answer. Raise your thinking!
3) Let Go Of It!
Why hold on to the past? How does that serve you? It doesn’t. So let go of it. You have better things to do than to live in the past. There is no future there. Understand what happened, learn from it, and let it go.
4) Take Action Now
“You can’t pee like a puppy if you want to run with the pack”. If you want to change you must do whatever it takes to change. Not just talk about it, but do it. What do the following words have in common: should, could, want to, need to, ought to, someday I will? None of them implies action has actually occurred. As my email address says “do it now”.
5) Stop Lying To Yourself.
Ouch! I know but when you tell yourself you can’t do something, or you're not strong enough, or you are afraid, that you believe it. The truth is that in each of us is amazing strength, courage, and faith. Tell yourself the truth. If you don’t believe it, keep telling yourself until you do. Do you think you really believe half the crap you say to yourself? Did you believe it when you first said it years and years ago?
6) Don’t Quit
Life rarely happens on our time schedule. No matter what has happen before, no matter how many times you have failed, this is a new moment. With this new moment, come new choices and opportunities. Believe in the possible not the impossible.
I wish you love and passion.