For most of us, judging ourselves and others is so ingrained in our constitution that we are not even aware that we do it. It’s just a way of life.
We gossip about other people. We assign value to individuals before we even speak to them, determining if they are worthy of our time. We make assumptions about people by virtue of their skin color or the work that they do. We complain about our coworkers, colleagues, relatives, lovers and even friends! We are critical of the way people do things, what they think, how they talk, who they hang out with and what decisions they make in their lives.
We assign judgment to actions that happen to us, to experiences we have, to opportunities that come our way. Everything is either good or bad and when we do judge it to be bad, our response is not one of acknowledgement and discernment, but rather worry, fret, fear, disappointment or annoyance. In other words, we assign negative connotations and attach negative vibrations to things we cannot change…things in the past.
When it comes to ourselves, we are almost inevitably overcritical and judgmental. How often have you thought of yourself as not good enough, not smart enough, not accomplished enough, not attractive enough, not appealing enough, not fit enough, not healthy enough, not outgoing or adventurous enough, not graceful or feminine enough, not masculine enough? Before long, you really believe those things about yourself. You create your reality.
Judgment is everywhere in our lives. Wouldn’t it just be easier if we just accepted everything! If we could embrace everyone and every experience with equanimity. Simply the observation of an observer! “Oh isn’t that interesting?” And meet every new person and experience with a welcoming energy and intention. And if an experience complicates your life, you simply see it as a valuable “redirection”-- the Universe showing you that it is time to find alternatives, or that you must try harder to find a new approach. No action is inherently good or bad—it just is!
After wrestling with many of these issues myself, I began to create a new mantra, an affirmation that has helped me greatly and I want to pass along to you. When I find myself judging someone, myself, or an experience, I simply repeat to myself the phrase, “Love, Not Judge!”
This is an ideal reminder that if I choose to vibrate love instead of judgment, it automatically opens me up to acceptance. By opening myself to acceptance, I stand to receive more love. It’s a wonderfully perfect circle! And when I open myself up to
acceptance, I become a powerful magnetic force for spiritual blessings and material benefits. When that happens, we’re really humming along!
So I encourage you to try it on everything! So that food you were served by your host was a bit too spicy? Love, Not Judge! The suit your favorite uncle is wearing at Christmas is pretty ratty. Love, Not Judge! Your boyfriend gave you a sweater that you just cannot ever see yourself wearing. Love, Not Judge! You note the love handles on your hips and the wrinkles on your face. Love, Not Judge! Your boss is often demanding and unyielding. Love, Not Judge! Your wife asked you to stop by the store on your way home--again. Love, Not Judge! You are stuck in traffic and running late for a meeting. Love, Not Judge!You didn’t get that proposal of marriage that you so desperately wanted. Love, Not Judge! You were not invited to the cool kids’ party. Love, Not Judge! Your crop of garden tomatoes just didn’t make it this year. Love, Not Judge!
Let go of judgment and open yourself to accept using this magic little mantra.
It is amazing the transformation that this phrase can create. Maybe not overnight, but it will unfold. When you get in the habit of spotting your negative critical judgments, and consciously eradicating them, you begin to raise your personal frequency. When you add the element of love and acceptance, then miracles happen!
Jackie Lapin is also the founder of ManifestBooks.com, your one-stop book shopping for the conscious creator and law of attraction enthusiast. Visit us at ManifestBooks.com