You are tired of it! All of those people slowing traffic by jogging and biking on the road. Don’t they know that people are trying to get to work on time, shop for a new outfit or are hungry and want get to a restaurant? How RUDE! Ever been in a checkout line behind a guy who just left the gym? PEEEW! Besides a 15 item express lane, there should be one for sweaty and smelly post-fitness-routine customers. For the sake of the general public’s convenience and welfare, please read this article and gain powerful insights into why you should NOT be doing any exercise!
Exercise helps you control and maintain your weight
This is all fine and dandy, but who wants to be a control freak? Don’t you just love the excitement and spontaneity of seeing your new weight as you step onto the scale? It is particularly fun to pretend that you have the melodic voice of an auctioneer calling out the numbers as the scale dial races upward. If your weight is already optimum, who wants to maintain that? BORING! Isn’t change supposed to be good? Not to mention, bigger is better!
Exercise reduces risk factors for many diseases
From type 2 diabetes and depression to cardiovascular disease and certain types of cancer, getting physical can decrease risk factors that contribute to disease. This concept is well illustrated in hundreds of studies. One such set of studies reveal that LDL cholesterol (the “bad” cholesterol) can be lowered by 5 to 10%, whereas HDL cholesterol (the “good” cholesterol) can be increased by 3 to 6% with regular exercise.1,2 If more people got moving, fewer drugs would be needed. Cholesterol medications top the list with 255 million prescriptions in 2010. The leader of the pack, the country’s top prescription seller, brought its maker $7.2 billion in 2010 alone!3 Slashing the number of people going to the drug store would severely cut into these monumental profits. Whether you are a democrat or republican, you must agree that this could be bad for the economy!
Exercise increases your energy levels
With regular fitness activities, your heart and lungs work more efficiently. This leads to greater strength and endurance. That will cause you to finish mowing the lawn or cover the aisles in the super market faster. Be careful! Once your spouse sees that you have more time on your hands, he or she will surely start adding items to your Honey-Do List!
Exercise makes your mood better
When you exercise, your brain releases mood-enhancing chemicals. It just makes you feel good and can lift you from the blues. One might appreciate the satisfaction of accomplishment. But, while the improvements in posture and physique may help raise your self-esteem, grouchy people get better service! Even worse, when your friend is in a foul mood and feeling sorry for himself, the last thing he needs is your joyful intervention. We all know that misery loves company!
5: Exercise can improve sexual function
Men over the age of 50 who are physically active report better erections with a 30 percent lower risk of impotence than men who were inactive.4 Another study found people who exercise regularly feel better about themselves, perceive that they are more sexually desirable and experience greater levels of satisfaction.5 Think unsustainable population growth, food shortages and diapers piling up in landfills! Bottom line, sex is simply not GREEN! Why improve it?
Exercise can help you sleep better
A Stanford University Medical School study found that older and middle-age people reported sleeping better when they exercised on a regular basis. After just 16 weeks of exercising at a moderate intensity, subjects were able to fall asleep about 15 minutes earlier and sleep about 45 minutes longer at night. With all of the lost time due to snoozing, Americans may have to become more like the French and adopt a 35 hour work week! I can’t imagine why the French, with their reputations, would need extra time in bed? They must be sleepy from drinking too much red wine?
Exercise can help reduce certain infections
Studies found that near-daily brisk walking compared with inactivity reduced the number of sickness days by half over a 12 to15-week period.6 Valid excuses to miss work are far and few between. If you are going to cave and start exercising, you need to be more creative when you stay home from work. (I was skeptical the other day when one of my employees missed work because she had to go see her chiropractor... BUT, I’m her chiropractor!)
Exercise can give you better concentration
A 2007 report from Oregon State University found that as little as 15 minutes of physical activity improved concentration, memory and classroom behavior among elementary school students. Contrary to what may be expected, the improved concentration and academic performance were more pronounced among children who exercised than in those who had an additional lesson. Umm? I’m sorry, what was I saying?
Exercise lowers stress levels
According to the American Psychological Association, “Exercise may improve mental health by helping the brain cope better with stress, according to research into the effect of exercise on neurochemicals involved in the body’s stress response. Preliminary evidence suggests that physically active people have lower rates of anxiety and depression than sedentary people... Work in animals since the late 1980s has found that exercise increases brain concentrations of norepinephrine in brain regions involved in the body’s stress response.” OK, I know what you’re thinking! That funny little norepinephrine is that cool little catecholamine produced in the locus coeruleus which acts not only as a hormone, but as a neurotransmitter. If you are that one guy or gal in the room who thought it was produced in the substantia nigra, don’t stress over it. Who worries about stress?
Exercise gets the bowels moving
Constipation is not only uncomfortable, but can be detrimental to your health. Less frequent bowel movements (once every six days) are associated with higher risks of colorectal cancer.7 Corrective action tends to be mainly focused on dietary changes. Often the underlying causes are completely ignored by solely resorting to laxative use. Things get moving when one gets moving! People suffering with constipation who participated in a 12-week exercise program saw symptoms such as straining during defecation and the number of hard stools decrease significantly.8 Hold it! If you become more regular, just think of all of the disgusting public restrooms and little league field outhouses you will be forced to contend with!
Still not convinced? Please don’t be trapped into thinking that you want to be a thinner, healthier, energetic, chilled-out, happier, well-rested, more-focused, stud muffin or muffinette as regular as a new alarm clock. But, if you do resort to defiance from the pearls of wisdom set forth in this article, and you start to exercise, do us all just one favor: Do your shopping BEFORE you go to the gym!
Please check with your doctor before starting (or, NOT starting) an exercise routine.
1 J Appl Physiol, 2007 Aug;103(2):417-8
2 J Fam Pract. 2007 Jun;56(6):483-5.
3 USA Today 11/15/2011
4 Annals of Internal Medicine, 8/2003
5 Journal of Human Sexuality, 10/2004
6 Sports Med. 2/1999
7 Department of Health Promotion and Preventive Medicine, Nagoya City University Graduate School of Medical Sciences, 1 Kawasumi, Mizuho-cho, Mizuho-ku, Nagoya 467-8601, Japan.
8 Clinical Evidence: Constipation in Adults; Stefan Muller-Lissner and Arnold Wald; July 2010